Mal Gordon – How to Sell on the Web

Sometimes, I like to have fun with telemarketers.

HIM (english accent): Hello, i’m blah blah calling from something XXXX Group (company of well known Australian direct marketer) or suchlike I think…I don’t want to sell you anything.

ME: Really, so what is this, a social call? Calling to see how my grandmother is or what I made for dinner? How nice..

HIM: Err, uhhh….actually sir, we’re calling to offer you the chance to help use the tax you pay to create investment opportunities instead, it’s all sanctioned by the government of course.

ME: Government, which government?

HIM: Ummm, errr, the Australian one I believe.

ME (starting to enjoy myself): okay, tell me more

HIM: Yes, well first I ask you some questions to see if you qualify.

ME: Qualify for what.

HIM: For the ummm, ahhh, errr access to the investments we have to offer.

ME: Where are you calling from?

HIM: New Zealand

ME: Are you a backpacker?

HIM: Yes

ME: Soooo, is this what Mr fabulous direct marketer (well known in Australia) is up to nowadays, flogging off the plan properties for developers under the pretence of wealth creation.

HIM: Ummm, errr, i’m not sure what you’re talking about.

ME: Using New Zealand call centres. He always was an innovator!

HIM: Do you know him?

ME: Don’t tell me, I bet you go around telling everyone that property doubles every seven to ten years like clockwork, right? So, let’s cut to the chase, you’re an english backpacker in a New Zealand call centre trying to book meetings with stooges…I mean, investors

HIM: Umm, ahhh, well actually, we just get a ‘financial advisor’ to come out to you and run you through the process.

ME: You mean, he’s going to show me how to use negative gearing, tax variations etc coupled with carefully selected properties that your expert team has chosen that are guaranteed to double within 7 to 10 years, right?

HIM: Ummm, ahhh, we just arrange investments so that you can take care of your superannuation for you know, retirement and stuff like that.

ME: And don’t tell me, your ‘financial advisor’ and I use the term in the loosest sense of the term because both you and I know that said company is not operating under an Australian Financial Services Provider License and therefore should not be providing advice in any way shape or form can also arrange the finance and property management, etc…

HIM: Ummm, errrrr, it sounds like you don’t need our services.

ME: Yes, yes indeed, perhaps it would be a good idea that you remove me from your database.

HIM: Errrr, yep, sorry to disturb you, have a good evening

Theoretically, we are all rational and logical beings. If we can purchase something for a dollar, there would be no logical reason to pay six for it. I’ve developed a fondness for a particular brand of mineral water lately. Instead of buying in bulk and purchasing in the value size 1.25 litre

I prefer to go all out and grab the six pack of smaller glass bottles instead and gladly pay SIX TIMES more for the priviledge.

So why do I do it?

Because drinking San Pellegrino is so much more enjoyable from a tiny glass bottle that fits snugly in your hand, it’s a superior experience. All we ever look to purchase are great experiences, create something special and you’ll have a ready made audience that will gladly pay more.

I contributed the below in an attempt to start a conversation in one of my Facebook groups last week. The conversation starter resulted in a sale for one of my customers, now that’s what I call kicking a goal off the wrong foot!

I cannot advocate regular and active involvement with the many tribes and sub-cultures populating networks such as Facebook enough because the rapport created leads to referral business which I think of as the gentle art of unselling.

Social media is often described as “word of mouth on steroids” which is a fair description.

While I am a huge advocate of modern day social media when it comes to marketing and branding you may be surprised to know that I am actually a member of a good old fashioned live business networking group known as BNI Endeavour Shore.

To borrow the blurb from the official website

Business Networking International is the largest networking organization in the world. We offer members the opportunity to share ideas, contacts and most importantly, business referrals.

which pretty much sums it up.

I love attending each and every meeting and enjoy the camaraderie of fellow movers and shakers seeing as I spend so much time on my lonesome. I was also drawn to business networking because many wealthy and successful business owners that I know and/or revere are huge advocates of it.

You will find that it is mostly driven individuals who are willing to sacrifice that ever precious extra hour or so’s sleep every Tuesday to get together and talk business whether it’s rain, hail or shine and it shows in the results these networks get.

I highly recommend BNI as a cost effective and enjoyable way of generating referrals for your business in the offline world. You’re probably aware by now that I take great care to ensure that my clients are getting maximum bang for their buck and I would put the BNI system right up there in terms of cost effectiveness.

If you’d like to know more about BNI or try it for yourself by visiting my chapter then please let me know and I will arrange something for you.

I recently attended a business networking breakfast. As per standard practice, cards are exchanged and I ended up giving a card to a self proclaimed “internet marketing expert” who had a system that was hotter than the sun and was used by some self anointed guru who has a bazillion followers and gets a gazillion sales and a few more outrageous claims that we’ve all heard before yada, yada, yada!

To be fair, the system is actually half decent, what was immensely off putting was just how aggressive the system spruiker was. She introduced herself, seemed instantly dismissive of what I did or had to say as if she was waiting her turn to deliver her seemingly contrived pitch then delivered a very forceful monologue on what she had to offer and why it was the best thing since sliced bread. She was a human spam machine and I instantly disliked her!

Despite this terrible first impression, I visited the website of the system she was spruiking and it’s actually half decent yet my dislike for Human Spam as we shall call her had given it all a bad vibe and I decided not to pursue it further.

About a week after the meeting I missed a call. I checked my voicemail, instead of hearing “Hi Mal, it’s Human Spam and i’d like to touch base to talk about X” I got a repeat of her forceful pitch delivered in a demeaning tone as if I was an idiot for not having signed up with her ten times and how quickly can I sign up so she can move onto spamming more people with her amazingly life changing email marketing system. Yes, Human Spam had just spammed my voicemail box! I was livid and there was absolutely no way I was going to do business with this woman!

Unsurprisingly, I did not return her call. This didn’t deter the unstoppable force that is the Human Span machine. She called again yesterday:

HER: “Hi! It’s Human Spam, is now a good time to talk?
ME: *very annoyed that she had the gall to call me again despite my disinterest* “No, now is not a good time to talk.”
HER: “When would be a good time?”
ME: *Immensely annoyed that my rude tone has not slowed her pushiness one iota* Never, goodbye!
*click*

The lessons I took from the Human Spammer are:

1. Don’t be Aggressive

Some sales people think they can steamroll weaker minds into bending to their will to get the sale. There is no faster way to turn people off your brand or product than to be rude and pushy. Build the relationship first, then sell softly second.

2. Do Your Homework

Research your potential customer BEFORE you contact them. A great part of my irritation with Human Spam was down to her lack of interest or understanding of what I did. She made no mention of my site and didn’t even suggest that I might be able to use her system AS PART OF a strategy as opposed to being THE STRATEGY which was what she inferred.

Show an interest in your customer or prospect and heck, they may show an interest in you.

3. Don’t (Human) Spam

You wouldn’t barge into a group conversation, ram your card into every member’s hand, shout a scripted sales pitch to them without giving them the chance to respond and abruptly leave would you? Didn’t stop Human Spam.

Ask people how you can help them, trust me, it works a whole lot better.